Friday 23 January 2009

I have run away to join the circus

Or I have run away from the circus to the safety of the sofa.

Area manager turned up today. I knew she would. I've been back two weeks and we needed to review my situation. She disappeared across the road to McDonalds with Bossy-cow and then Cow-pie was summoned to join them. Huh? How about that to make me feel even more isolated.

They came back and Area manager and I took some chairs upstairs to a storeroom to talk. I cried, I told her what I thought and how I felt and I've decided that, hell yes, I came back too soon and since I have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon I'll be asking him to sign my sick note for another month... or more.

And I've decided to ask for counselling. I think I need some coping-with-insensitive-cow strategies or even just coping-with-each-day strategies.

Who knows, I might go back there eventually, but somehow, and I know you know this too, I very much doubt it.

Bossy-cow gave me a hug in front of Area Manager. I needed one on Wednesday with no witnesses, not today.


  1. I was looking for some of the books my husband used when he suffered from stress/depression. I can't find them (very helpful I know) but I remember one title "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers. It really helped. The other thing that seemed to help was advice from a counsellor who asked him "What advice would your best friend give you?" This helps you view your situation more objectively. My husband and I have both had a little helping hand from Prozac too. Hope you get the support you need.

  2. I think days full of insensitive cows are the last thing you need right now. Some time off (and perhaps a search into something/someplace new?) sounds like good medicine.

  3. Sounds like good self care on all fronts. Counseling can be a real gift to yourself- and so can removing yourself from situations that wear you down and stand in the way of healing. Good for you for knowing what you need.

  4. I am so proud of you (and believe your sweet son is also) for taking time to heal and ask for the help also. I'm glad you like the nicknames for Bossy Cow and Cow-pie.

  5. Good call on all fronts.

    And I am not sure about the bigger picture at that place, if the manager runs things that way too.

    Take your additional leave, heal a bit, then hopefully you can find a better option (aside from my business - a great part time job found me 4 months after I quit - and I was ready for it by then). It's perfect now, low responsibility- and it will open more doors for me later, when Ia m ready to approach those doors.
    The point is, it's hard to know what (good) will come your way, but it is obvious to you now that what you have is not good.

  6. oh, and I love the first line! from the circus to the sofa. I may save that and use it for a blah day!

  7. you made the right decision Barbara. Good for you xo

  8. I would hate to see how Bossy Cow and Cow Pat or pie ( I know you are much more polite than I) would cope with losing a babe.... do they have kids at all? Seriously what horrid mothers they would be.

    I think what you are doing is fantastic , I can't really say much more other than I have hear that "Feel the fear and do it anyway" is a great book, and I am totally with Dani on this as well.

    Hoping that you can relax a bit more.

    Love to you friend

    Carly x

  9. Good for you for taking good care of yourself. xoxo

  10. Looks like Bossy-Cow wanted to make a public show of 'I am so sensitive'. Kick her nads, will you? :)

    Finding a counsellor sounds good to me. Take Care!

  11. I hate the way they treated you!
    Yes, take care of yourself Barbara.
    Talking therapy is the best, I think,yes.
    The system, the managers, all that, what a pain.
    You don't need this pain, you got enough of your own.
    Do something beautiful and creative, as you are.
    Oksana xxx

  12. I'm reading through some of your older posts. I'm sorry to hear about the troubles at work and I do hope you find an appropriate solution soon.

    I'm going to add learning some "coping-with-insensitive-cow strategies" to my goals for therapy! That is too funny (and such a necessity in this situation), thank you for bringing a smile to my face this morning.



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