Thursday, 5 February 2009

You may not want to read this

That wildly inappropriate spam comment on my blog yesterday and my rather instinctive response to it served to jolt me from my disconnected state and remind me of the real magnitude of another first that happened to me last night.

And at this point I'll warn you that I'm about to get personal. No, really personal and talk about bodily fluids. 'Cos, you know, you might be having tea and cake or eating a sandwich or something and umm... yik. So if you'd like to back away now...

The big first? The major happening that warrants a whole blog? I mentioned that I have no dignity left? Ok.

I slept for the first time in 7 months without underwear and a sanitary towel/liner. I can't believe it's been so long. At first it was the spotting and bleeding during my pregnancy followed by the maternity pads for the long weeks of bleeding after we lost George, followed by the protection needed for the continuously horrid horrid horrid discharge that my doctor calls an infection and my ob likes to think of as an "overgrowth" of a "naturally occurring" bug "found on the skin". Strep b. Pffffffttt! Yes, normally found on the skin, not welcome in the vagina and a risk to a live baby during birth. (It wasn't found at any time during my pregnancy so I know it wasn't a contributing factor in George's death)

I almost didn't go to bed as nature intended. I'm so used to the routine of wearing some sort of sanitary protection that it's become automatic. I've lost count of the money I've spent finding the right brand at the right price. But last night, day 9 of 14 in my 4 pills a day antibiotic routine I finally finally felt confident enough to skip the other routine. I can only hope that when the antibiotics are done that "overgrowth" doesn't start again. I'll be looking into non-antibiotic remedies at that point. You do what with a garlic clove??? But no, let's be optimistic. And today I'm also going without and my focus is constantly being directed down there to the point where I wonder if I've become obsessed with the goings on in and around my ladyparts. I don't trust my body.

And if you're wondering, and in the interests of brutal honesty, yes, 7 months of wearing sanitary protection and not knowing what would appear therein has meant 7 months without sex. Frustrated? Yoooobetcha! We've managed to make a pathetic joke out of it... sex scene on tv = one or both of us looking puzzled, "what on earth are they doing?" or, gazing off into the distance, "ahhh, I remember sex... I think. How does it go again?". But really? Honestly? Frustrated? Oh yooooooobetcha!

And it reminds me how lucky I am to be with the best bloke in the world.

Don't worry, I won't blog when that first happens. That really will be left private!


  1. Oh Barbara, I do hope this round of meds WORKS...its like you're being tortured, as if losing George weren't enough!

  2. Hurrah for finally not having to wear a pad! Okay, Ladyparts, stay healthy please!

  3. Ugh. Just ugh. But this is progress. Hoping this is the last of the meds.

  4. Oh my gosh, I hate the fact that as I chuckle at your post I can nod my head in understanding! Thanks for the honesty :)

  5. Hey - its a first none-the-less, right?

    Maybe you could just send us a quick ~wink~ after that other first.

  6. For the record, when I read something that says "you may not want to read this" I always want to read.....
    I hear ya with the obsession with your ladyparts. And I'm feeling for ya with the erm.. frustration!! Hang in there Barbara, we're right there with you. Although we wont be right there with you for you know what!!

  7. Oh I don't know ..grin... the way we live in each other's lives these days, and the fact that none of our pinkbits are particularly private anymore, oh and as for dignity? Well, down the gurgler in this part of the woods!
    Isn't it ironic how 'highschool' conversations, what base so and so got up to, blah blah, has now turned into general conversation because it all HAS A PURPOSE! In some way or another we are all working toward a relative goal!


  8. That too a ridiculously long time for the docs to sort out....

    After your done with the antibiotics, eat yogurt with live cultures and maybe take a small regimen of a good probiotic. Rebuild all the healthy 'flora' (I think you mentioned this earlier, or someone did in comments, but, just to reiterate - cause I like beating a dead horse, er donkey!)

  9. Dear Barbara,

    I wish to offer my sincere apologies for the posting
    on your blog in regards to the inapropriate posting made by 'Heath'.

    'Heath' is a subcontractor of mine that should not have made this
    comment entry (I only found it on checking his work), I certainly do not approve of it, and will be reconsidering
    any future work I do with them.

    My heart goes out to you, a very touching site/blog.

    Please feel free to remove the entry.

    Once again, my apologies.

  10. David, hopefully you're reading this. Thank you for dropping by again to apologise.

  11. Thank you all ladies, I did think you would read, especially after being told you might not want to! I know I would have!

    I'm glad some of you can relate to this not-often discussed side effect and I'm so glad that we're all here for each other. I would hate to be going through this alone. (not that I am alone with Ray but ya know, ladyparts are for pleasure, not for the yukky stuff!)

    Ya Chun, thank you. I have probiotics ready and waiting!


  12. Ooh, I'd probably blog about it, come to think of it, I think I probably have :)


  13. "I mentioned that I have no dignity left?"

    Very much intact!

    I really never could make out the extent of your physical problems before this post. A period for seven months...wearing napkins for seven month! OMG....

    You know, I will share a secret with you. The night after I am 'free', I myself do not wear undies - I want to feel free, unhampered, and just be in my skin.

    Ray is so very considerate. You totally deserve each other. Go give him a hug right now. :)



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