Wednesday 4 February 2009


I don't feel unhappy, down or irritated or for that matter joyful or calm. I feel flat and disconnected. It's as if I'm a step behind myself and I've been trying to catch up all day. My thoughts are distracted and I can't concentrate. Ray talks to me and I don't hear him and George is far away.

It's funny how one day with a moment of joy can be followed by another that feels flat and lifeless and sort of ... meh. I'd like to go to bed now and start afresh tomorrow.

It's ok though, I don't mind, it's all part for of the journey. Tomorrow will be different.


  1. Its like a

  2. The disconnect is SO normal. It will come and go for a long time, but eventually it will come less and less often.

  3. Yep, that's how it goes over here too. I just try to acknowledge how I am feeling and go with it. I can't fight it, and that only leads to frustration.

    Sorry you are having a low day. It is the worst rollercoaster...

  4. ((Hugs)) Sweet Barbara, abiding with you. Re.your escape cake, I will make you an incredible three layer fudge cake with Chocolate malt whipped cream cheese frosting. We are talking freaking fabulous and worthy of you and Ray.

  5. and we're all on this journey with you!

  6. We encounter both happiness and sorrow in our life...but you know what...if there was no sorrow , then we would never know the value of happiness... :)

    Discrete dating site for those married , or in a relationship,
    and looking for someone married or in a relationship.

  7. Boy, I wish I had your sense of acceptance and gentleness with yourself. Hoping tomorrow is better. Sending you hugs.

  8. Ummm... is it me or is Heath's comment above totally inappropriate?

    Oh yes, whilst mourning the loss of my son, struggling with recurring infection and NOT getting to have sex with my own partner, I'll have a fling on the side... woo hoo.

    Huh? Have I been spammed? I've never been spammed before. How exciting.

  9. Woah! Now that was weird - spammed for sure!

    Barbara- your acceptance of this ride is truly remarkable. Days are just that, in the perspective of hindsight they will all blur, at least these early ones.

    hang in...xoxo

  10. on some random cloud...not knowing where to land or how long to float.



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