I was explaining the stone in my ring to my Mum,
"No it's not my birthstone, mine is ruby. It's October ... George's birthstone".
And there it was. That little pause before I say his name; a small intake of breath; a catch in my voice.
I wonder if it will always be there.
I'm 3.5 years out and I still have the same thing happen... so yeah, I think it's a forever thing.ReplyDelete
Oh Barbara. Perhaps it will always be there. Just as the love will. xoReplyDelete
Same happens to me. Sometimes I can barely choke it out. And I wonder why other people never say her name.ReplyDelete
I always try to rush over the pause, nonchalantly, so that maybe others don't feel freaked out and think "OMG OMG she said THE name, what do I do, what do I do????"ReplyDelete
And I think they still do. And so do I.
I have a family ring (a stacking set) and no one - NOT ONE - has ever commented or asked about the ring set. :(
Yeah, that pause might be permanent. I can write my son's name in my blog with ease but around people I often feel weird saying it, like it's a word they don't want to hear because it's a reminder to them that your baby died.ReplyDelete
Maybe think of it as a dramatic pause before saying something REALLY important, because our little ones are so very important.
It is still there for me Barb :) xxxReplyDelete
Yes, the catch will always be there. At least it is for me, three years out. This is my first time visiting and your blog is beautiful. So sorry for the loss of George.ReplyDelete