Tuesday 11 November 2008


This is my Pandora bracelet. I spotted one in a jewelers not long after Ray and I got together and last Christmas I received the bracelet with the bear and frog charms. Oh I love my guy! Plus he's rather cleverly given himself an easy way of buying a gift for me! Not for him 5:30 on chrismas eve, "oh hell, what can I get her... gotta get a present... perfume? underwear? household appliance?" Since christmas I've been given the heart and the two glass beads by Ray and a pretty safety chain by my parents and it's only been off my wrist long enough to put the new charms on it (apart from my hospital stay where they made me take off all my jewelery including my engagement ring which didn't fit again for at least 24 hours, bah).

I love my bracelet! The beads however aren't cheap, especially since we're on a tight budget at the moment; they range from about £18 upwards. If they were cheaper I would probably have a filled bracelet by now! I think they mean just that little bit more as they aren't bought on a whim.

I'm now "saving" to buy a bead for myself. I want to get this baby shoe as a small memento of my little George that I can see every day. Not as a morbid reminder to make me cry you understand, but a nice memory of his existence. I'm watching one on ebay in the hope that it won't get too expensive before bidding closes!

I'm not sure which charm I'll get for christmas from my lovely, fantastic, wondrous, groovy, incredible, terrific, phenomenal, marvelous, fabulous, wonderful, gorgeous, super Ray of sunshine (Creeping? Moi?) but whichever it is, I know it will be bought with love.


  1. Barbara - My heart breaks for the loss of your little boy. You are obviously a very strong woman to recognize light and hope already in your grief road.

    I look forward to reading more about your journey and hope that you will catch up on mine.


  2. Thank you for your comment Cara.

    I don't know about being strong, I certainly don't feel it!

    I do think I'm incredibly lucky to share the love I have with my partner and this is a good foundation for falling apart on. If that makes any sense.

    I know grief takes time and I think perhaps just surrendering to it helps.

    hugs back at you



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