Wednesday 30 September 2009

Treading water.

I went swimming this morning with my mum. I haven't been since I was pregnant and only once then because it just felt so wrong. Back then I'd had visions of me floating serenely around the pool with my bump high and dry and I was so disappointed.

Anyway, the swim was good, it felt good to be weightless, although I got out of breath far too easily. But at 10am the pool started to fill with, yes of course! mothers and babies for the morning mother and baby class. Hey, be proud of me; I kept my cool, I kept in control and then we decided it was coffee (decaf) time.

GAH! The changing room was full of tiny, chubby, gurgling, screaming, crawling, smiling little darlings. My mum of course started cooing over the most perfect baby I have ever seen. Honestly, an ad agency's delight. Perfect skin, button nose, fluffy hair, big beautiful blue eyes. How old? Well yes of course, 7 months old, just the age George would/should/could/might have been. "Please let it be a girl please let it be a girl please let it be a girl". We were introduced to Sophie who smiled and cooed at my mum and then at me. And I smiled and cooed back at her, and touched her perfect chubby cheek. And it was warm.

And then I remembered that breathing is a good thing and exhaled.

Might go swimming on a monday next week.


  1. How brave of you to face and TOUCH that baby. I am so sorry George is not here with you, he should be and you should be taking him to that mommy and baby class. I wish I could change it for you. xx

  2. I agree with Tina, you were so brave. It's hard for me to just be around babies. Thank you for sharing this experience. It shouldn't be this way. XX

  3. I agree. You are so brave. I cant be around 20 month olds or 10 month olds without thinking "that should be Nicholas/Sophia/Alexander". It hurts so much. And you reached out and touched her too! That is really wonderful.

  4. Goodness Barb, I don't know if I could have done it...I have trouble even looking at babies other than my own. How very brave indeed. Hugging you

  5. Goof job, girl, on everything! Have fun next week.

    I can't wait till the new indoor pool opens near me - I miss my summer swimming.

  6. You did good. Real good. Proud of you my friend.

  7. I hate swimming whilst pregnant Barb. To me it felt oh so wrong doo. And I was so disappointed as I am a WATER BABY!

    You did awesome Barb! xxx

  8. You are an amazing and incredibly courageous woman. I love you!

  9. The mommy brigade is hard to escape. Good for you, for touching, for breathing, and for making a new plan!



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