Wednesday 1 September 2010

Stop it

Yesterday we were waiting in a small queue and the couple in front of us were trying to stop their son (about 8) from "cheating" and skipping to the front. The man turned to us and "ha ha, you should get a kid, it makes everything take twice as long ha ha". Ha. Ha? I think we both gave back a blank look and the man didn't say anything else.

"I could think of several responses to that" I said.
"Me too."

But we don't speak these responses because we're polite English people and we don't let "outsiders" into the world of babyloss most of the time. It's too horrific and we don't want to ruin someone's day, or their lunch, or their ride on a victorian cliff railway by letting them know that yes, we would "get a kid" if we could, in fact we have tried but our kids died long before they could be amusingly annoying.

Really, dear Universe, that wasn't fair. Stop it please.


I had two dreams about pregnancy tests and the results of which over the last couple of days.

In the first dream the result was positive and then Ray shook my hand. In the second dream two nights later the dip-in-the-pee stick was absolutely the longest dip-in-the-pee stick in the world, metres and metres of dip stick and I ran along side the stick as the pee was travelling along it. It seemed to take forever but eventually I got to the end where I found the second line.

And then I woke up from the dream, went to the toilet and my period started.

We weren't trying, I wasn't hoping or expecting. So really. Seriously. Subconscious. For my sanity's sake. Stop it!


  1. I really do wish the universe would give you a break. Both when you're awake and in your dreams.

  2. I love you. Wish I could "stop it" for you.

  3. can i just say - i love your dream about the world's longest dipstick and running alongside it - my god, it really feels like that sometimes. so wrong, but kind of funny too! thinking of you barb. i hate the stupid sh*t people say. xo

  4. what a ridiculous thing for that guy to say. on so many levels.
    thinking of you xx

  5. Oh Barbara. I'm sorry. I wish the universe would stop it. People often such stupid flippant little things that really, really sting. And being the 'polite English person' that I am, I also find myself biting back the responses that I would, on occasion, love to make.
    I love the dream about the dip stick too. It really does feel like that sometimes. xo

  6. I'm a polite Canadian so I get the whole "bite your tongue" in the face of ignorance and hurtful comments - and then later seething or crying about why people say such stupid things (that last bit is perhaps only me). I'm hoping you guys get a break and sending much love your way.

  7. STOP IT universe. JUST STOP IT, okay.

    I can't fathom people saying stuff like that ... I mean, even before my babyloss days, I would never have presumed that someone without children might not have a story they might possibly not want to share with a stranger. Sheesh!

  8. Well, I'm going to take the excuse of being a rowdy American because you better believe I would have told him, "Um yes, what a lovely idea. Unfortunately, the kids we tried to 'get' have died and we're just stuck helplessly watching yours. Thanks for the suggestion, though."

    Ugh. I am so, so, so sorry that someone spoke those words to you, and sorrier that you felt you shouldn't respond (in truth, though, I admire your ability to be the bigger and better person) and I pray that you will not encounter such insensitivity as that for a bit.

    I'd say ever, but I know what world we live in, so I'm just praying for some peace for you in the meantime.



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