I can hardly believe that it's been 4 whole years since I looked at my tiny little boy, kissed his nose and said "I'm sorry".
Today we are going on an adventure as we have done for the last 2 years.
Only this time it will be different.
We DO have the baby in the back seat.
We DO have the tons of accoutrements that follow us around these days. This year we DO have the sleepless nights, the worry, the joy and the love.
Oh so much love.
But just for one.
Where there should be three.
You have not been forgotten nor replaced. How could one person replace another? Impossible.
You are you, the only you there ever was or could ever be and you are missed for all that you might have been.
For the role of big brother that you should be playing now. For the joy we should be anticipating at seeing you grow into a big boy, a teenager, a young man, an adult.
I think of you every day. Watching Felix develop and grow makes it even more obvious just how much we have lost. A whole world.
For every kiss I give your brother there is one looking for you.