You know how we all feel such a powerful need to hold tangible reminders of our lost babies? I write his name on everything! George George George, there, even typing it feels good. As if by saying and writing it makes him more present, more here in the world.
I have been looking at some of your beautiful pieces of jewellery thinking of ordering something with George's name and date of birth or just "George, made with love" and it all appears to be outside the UK. Just checking Etsy and all the prices are in $, there are some lovely pieces there if anybody is looking.
So I started thinking. I do a lot of thinking, in case you hadn't noticed.
I used to make jewellery. I took a silversmithing course a few, well, a whole lot of years ago and I loved it. I made a ring, some earrings and a brooch. Hang on, I could do this myself. I could do this myself. For myself and Ooh, hang on again, maybe just possibly for others.
So I made a list of what I need. Not too much to start with. I have a little sheet silver left over from the course (20 years ago, now I think about it!) pre-cut shapes would be easier. A new saw and fine blades. A fine drill bit. Some polishing materials. A few findings. A set of letter and number punches.
Money is tight at the moment but I'm seriously thinking this could be a small business idea for me in the future. Not an original idea by any means, it's all out there already just not so much in the UK. However, I do know that it's an idea that works from my own desire and search to find something.
I suddenly see myself hammering tiny names into silver with peacefully sleeping baby nearby. Yes, yes, I know, hammering and sleeping don't generally go together but our live baby will be perfect and sleep through anything and I'll have nothing else to do while he or she is doing the sleeping. Hey, don't laugh, this is my little fantasy!
This might come to nothing at all and the most I'll do is make something for myself but even that will be worth it.
Today I'm thinking of mustering up a little enthusiasm.