Boss was off today, I had the pleasure of Colleague all to myself. It's easier when one of them is off, they can't exclude me.
Colleague asked me how I was finding it. "Finding what?" I asked, was this a glimmer of compassion? "Being back at work, are you tired?" She quickly answered with a don't mention babies look on her face. "Yes, I'm tired" I said.
I was sorting through some stored bags of teddies, looking for valentines bears for a display when I came across a little blue teddy still in it's gift box. "It's a boy!" shouted it's teddy jumper. Breathe. Just. Breathe.
I got through another day. I don't want to get through another day. I want to enjoy my days.
One day I will. Soon soon soon please.
Today I feel subdued.
Is it that job or is it just getting back into "it"? I was miserable when I returned to work, but I had been hoping to leave the job (and be a SAHM). But, when I got back, I realized I was just done with that job (My boss was also being sociopathic - long story, some is on my blog, most isn't).
ReplyDeleteBut finding bennies when you want to be pregnant again soon is not so easy...
I set a deadline for myself to find a new job two months out... I din't find one so quit because it was unbearable - but it;s not completely w/o financial consequences...
good luck surviving and figuring out what you need/want to do
I want you to enjoy your days more than anything Barbara, you deserve that!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could come in and volunteer. I would put pepper in their tea and salt in there coffee. Horrible women.
xxx Hoping you enjoy the weekend with Poppet.
Ya Chun, thank you for your comment.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to leave the job anyway and my pregnancy happened at the perfect time. I had an end date in sight. I planned to take my maternity leave and then quit.
I knew it would be hard going back to any job but because I was already feeling miserable in this one I knew this would be much much worse.
I think the idea of setting a deadline is a good idea. It will again give me an end date. A moment when I know I will be free.
Yes, financially this will be difficult if I haven't found a new job but I think it might be the right way forward.
I'll talk to Ray about this and decide on a deadline.
Thank you for giving me practical advice for a way forward.
xxx
Carly, sweet Carly! I would so love you to be a volunteer and sabotage coffee and tea and talk to me in front of them about our lost babies.
xxx
Dearest Barbara, I so want you to enjoy your days and I send my best that it will be here soon.
ReplyDeleteSome people are just horrid you have to wonder how they Stand to be around Themselves.
Martha is too funny
ReplyDelete