I've had so many thoughts rushing around my head since I got home from work yesterday afternoon. They kept me awake on and off last night when I was exhausted... or I suppose I could blame the yummy curry and give my head a break for once!
Today I've been dealing with them. Throwing out the negativity! "Stop it" I tell myself every time some argument breaks out between me and boss in my head and if she says this I'll say this. "Stop it" every time I let the dread back in of going to work for another day with people who have little compassion. "Stop it" every time I worry about my body not holding another baby safe. "Stop it" every time I wonder if my infection really has gone for good this time. "Stop it" every time I feel impatient to get all the tests and surgery over and done with.
In between food shopping, kitchen cleaning, scribbling, playing with the innernets and taking Ray cups of tea across the road where he is painting it has been an interesting day of stopits. However, my period is starting today and unfortunately I can't stopit at that! Bleaugh! I'm guzzling raspberry leaf tea by the pint in the hopes that the cramps won't be so bad this month. Argh! It seems like minutes ago that my last period ended.
To calm myself this afternoon I thought of my sweet baby and all of your precious babies, lit the candles, turned on the lights and found my smile, just before Ray came home.
(Yes, there are two Christmas cards still out.)
Another day at work tomorrow...