I was doing well. We were getting out and about. Drives into the countryside were healing and soothing. I was feeling calm.
But today I just feel as if I've come down with a crash. I miss my son. I don't want to go out. My chest is crushing me. I want to go to sleep and wake up to find it's all been a bad bad dream and my belly is huge and George is kicking me in the ribs.
I started spotting and cramping last night, not a huge amount by any means but it's only 18 days since my monster period started so it shouldn't be happening at all. It's been 10 weeks since I gave birth to George and despite two rounds of antibiotics I've had an infection ever since the d&c a week later. I feel like crap and I'm off to see my doctor now to get the physical problems sorted out once and for all before my internal ladyparts are irreversibly damaged.
I was supposed to be going back to work tomorrow but I'm not. Just one more week and then I'll go back, I will.
This grief creature is bloody sneaky.
Today. I have nothing.