Friday, 9 January 2009

Semantics

How long can I say, "I just lost my baby"?

I ask because it's been 81 days since we lost George and some days I feel as though it just happened but some days I feel as though it was a lifetime ago and that quite possibly an entirely different and much stronger person went through it.


10 comments:

  1. Time seems completely different now. We will sometimes be talking about a random event as if it happened a year ago, and realize with a shock that it was only last week. I feel like Kai has been gone for so long, and like we just lost him all at once. I think you can say whatever you want to say for as long as you want to say it. People who know your heart will understand what "just" means.

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  2. Now THERE's a thoughtful thursday quesion!

    Whew- I have to chew on that.

    You might see a post very soon on BHB inspired your question!

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  3. I think you say it and describe that way as long as you need to. I don't know the right answer, whatever is healing for you and Ray, George too.

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  4. Danielle is right, time really is different now. I can not say "we lost our baby last year" because that seems SO long ago.

    I know it doesn't really matter what I say as long as I'm comfortable with it but, you know, it just struck me.

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  5. Barbara-

    Another random thought about this. You are considered a newlywed if you've been married under a year. Everyone says it takes a year to get settled into a new apartment. And that's all relatively benign and happy stuff. 81 days worth of grief and the complete alteration of your world is the blink of an eye.

    I remember reading on Monique's blog that a healer told her that grief takes 4 seasons. I remind myself of this every time I start to wonder why I'm not feeling better than this "yet."

    Still, I stand by my first answer. As long as you need, for as long as it takes.

    Hugs.

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  6. i think back to the four seasons thing all the time. i'm not even through two. and yes, time is so different now. it has less meaning, but sometimes more meaning...

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  7. ....As long as YOU want to say it. Period.

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  8. I feel like I have just lost Christian all over again today and its almost been 2 years.

    I don't know the answer, and I am sorry for that. x

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  9. Hi, Barbara. I've been following you on Twitter, and this is my first visit to your blog.

    I wish I had words to make things better, but I can't find them.

    I am here, though, sending you healing thoughts.

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