Belief, feet, trees, the A word and kittehs

I'm not pregnant this month. Nasty colds and trying to make a baby don't sit together easily so I never expected to be expecting and I won't be bothering testing.

And you know what, apart from a brief couple of days of the gloomy grumps around my fertile time, which coincided with our most sneezy, snotty, achy, grotty, unromantic time, I have been quite relaxed about it all. I haven't been dreaming and planning and hoping after every tiny possible twingy maybe symptom. It's been different, which is probably a good thing. Maybe.

This month we are going back to visit the fertile nurse.

I'm starting to believe that it won't happen.

I need to believe that it will.

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I'm having new orthotics made to measure next week. Hopefully they will make it easier to walk further as we have a list of places to go to not least of which is an ancient oak forest on Dartmoor. And walking is good for the soul, if not for the sole... bwahaha... ha... huh... whatever

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I'm going to take a sleeping pill tonight because my rule (that I have conveniently made up in time to blog about it) is; two nights without sleep = one night of pill-sleep. Unless it's during the two week wait in which case; first day of period = two nights of pill-sleep, unless I get some good sleep before my period and I'm not crying a river, in which case... ah you get the general idea. I don't like taking sleeping pills, even the mildest of the mild sleepy antihistamines that Dr Compassion prescribes.

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I spoke to my Dad this morning and he asked me how was "the feller you work with" meaning Ray of course. "He's a really nice chap". Yes Dad, he is.

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I forgot to show you our kittehs first foray into the snow. In which you can see Ray drag them away from the back back garden and me squeaking in an absurdly high voice. They are normally allowed out there but we were about to go out ourselves and we don't leave the kittehs to roam while we're out. I'm still not easy about letting them wander and I know it's a side-effect from losing George but they do get to go out and at least I'm ok with Ray wandering going out now without imagining horrible mangling accidents. At this rate kittehs should be wandering free by 2012. I know, I don't know why I feel the need to explain, pathetic isn't it.

Have a lovely weekend.

And if it's been a while, tell someone that you love them.

Enjoy.

Kitties first foray in the snow @ Yahoo! Video