I can breathe now, my heart isn't pounding and I don't have that feeling of dread falling into my chest.
We're having a quiet day. No shopping, no walking, no going out at all apart from a short trip into the garden to feed the birds.
I feel a little more peaceful away from the toxic workplace on our nice big comfy sofa.
I do however have a lovely sinus headache from all the crying yesterday; first at Area manager, then at my doctor (who, rather sweetly, is reluctant to write anything other than "low mood" on my sick note) and after that, at my Mum and Dad. (Although I did end up making my Mum cry with laughter I'll have you know)
I would like one day to be able to express my grief without crying. I can do it here (mostly), I can do it in my head (mostly) but (mostly) not out loud. I have the telephone number for a free counselling after loss service. I just have to call. Easy, right?
Cure for sinus headache? Microwave a damp towel and drape attractively over face. WARNING! Do not microwave damp towel to the point where it steams several layers of skin from your face: Not attractive.
Today we've already watched a movie (City of Ember) and now Ray is shooting zombies in the face and I'm browsing, making notes, browsing, making cups of tea and browsing. Every so often Ray does his serial killer laugh after gunning down several soldiers/zombies/mutants and I do wonder...