Tuesday, 31 March 2009

"Return to work"

We started painting late this morning because I had a scheduled home visit from my area manager to discuss my "return to work".

I told her that I had never felt so unwelcome anywhere in my life when I walked back into that workplace. I told her that my two co-workers has both left the little kitchen/office within a minute of me entering on my first day back, that there was no "Welcome back!" of any sort above a weakly smiled "morning". She asked me how they could help me "when" I return. "I don't know". I don't think there is anything that would ever make working there a comfortable experience again.

She wrote all of this down and I signed it. I cried (of course) and she said that it seemed as if I hadn't moved on from our last meeting.

I have. Indeed I have moved on a long way in my journey. But talking about my grief and talking about that place and the utter lack of compassion and for some reason, hostility from someone I once thought of as a friend brings on the tears.

But I'm ok now.

Meeting done, Ray and I trundled off to splosh some more paint about. Well, I splosh, he is definitely the professional in this situation. Although he has offered me the job of painters mate after my trial period so I can't be too bad. I'm giving the offer some considerable thought.

An overloaded veggie pizza and meat laden kebab later (we lazily ordered from the take out that Ray's brother works for so we got "extras") and the bloated poppets are off to bed.

Love to you all.
xxx


9 comments:

  1. Ugh, I'm so mad at that woman.

    Sleep tight, and love to you guys too Barbara xo

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  2. I am glad that you are better now. You had a hard start to the day. Pizza fixes most things. I shouldn't think like that, but even the smell makes me feel better.

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  3. Ray and you are fantastic partners.

    Can't you consider some other job options? I am surprised at the apathy existing there...

    Mmmm...that kebab has me salivating! Why oh why did you have to mention it?

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  4. Food sounds yummy. Sorry for the unsupportive work situation, ugh.
    love you to you two- Martha

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  5. I hope today starts off better than yesterday. I really don't like that woman. I'm sorry you have to deal with her.

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  6. I'm sorry. Returning to work was a huge problem for me to. Doing it twice- I would have rather died the 2nd time. Most days, I view it as a mistake that I came back. I used to love it but now it makes me crazy and angry a lot. The way we change...

    I'm so sorry you didnt get the compassion and support you needed from people you thought of as friends. People can be so cruel.

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  7. Thinking of you with love.

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  8. Oh, crud, what does "haven't moved on" mean? I think that's code for "please, don't have a dead baby and don't remind us that sometimes babies die, it's too uncomfortable for ME and my comfort is super important" but that's too many syllables so they say, "move-on." I just wish people would learn how to say "I'm sorry." It doesn't mean they did it, it means I care enough to acknowledge you. Ah, well, I had a bit of a strong reaction and your post sounds like you are truly working this out--so I guess, thanks for reading this. Thinking of you and your family.

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