Under the tree

If you don't know yet, the most wonderful Carly who gives so much of her time to write our babies names in the sand has started this wonderful idea of gathering us all together Under the tree to answer a few questions and support each other by commenting on those either new to blogging or lacking in comments.


And since Carly is my hero I'd like to play along!



Do you have a special place in your home for your baby/ies? What is it like? Do you have any rituals that you perform in memory of your baby/ies?

No, there's no one special place for George in our home. Many years ago Ray lost his father as a teenager and created a shrine to him, at some point he felt tied to it and felt that it didn't help him through his grief but rather made it much much worse. Ray struggled with his grief for many many years before finally letting go of his dad. I have resisted the urge to create a shrine and now I'm glad I did. George is everywhere.

I do love the place where we left George. Even though we've only been there twice; once to bury him and once to see if the bulbs we planted with him were blooming. It has a good feeling about it and I like to think of him running wild there. We're going back soon.

I suppose in a way my "shrine" is my necklace. George's name and date of birth. I feel as if it keeps him close. I touch it constantly through the day, I hold it between my lips or stroke the indentations of his stamped name. A touchstone.

If you believe in an afterlife, do you receive signs from your baby/ies? Have you ever felt their pressence? Do you find them in nature? Do they visit you in your dreams?

This is tough to explain. I don't believe in heaven or an afterlife but I do believe that when we die we don't just cease to exist. Our energy is transmuted into the essence of the earth. We become once again the stuff of stars of which we are made. Therefore George's energy is in and a part of every atom around us. He is with us. He is everywhere.

Do you have a special poem, song, prayer or quote in memory of your baby/ies?

No, there isn't one special song or poem. Different songs and different poems at different times speak to me, spark a thought or a tear or a memory and for a while they are George's.

The song you hear on this page was one that Ray transferred to an mp3 player which plugs into our car. The first time I heard it I said, "Oh". It's the beginning of our relationship all rolled into one song. It's not even particularly of a style that I like! It's all in the words. Ray's song for us is Elton John's "Your song." And he really isn't an Elton John fan even one little bit! But the words speak to him, and now they speak to me about my fiancé and my son.

"How wonderful life is while you're in the world."