Thank you sweet ladies for your support yesterday it was much needed and so very gratefully received.
Love to you all.
Today I went swimming with my Mum. I thought it would be nice; we'd relax, exercise a little, and spend some time together.
This was another first. I haven't been swimming since I was pregnant and I only went once because my belly under the water just felt so wrong. I was so disappointed that day because I've always loved the water and I'd imagined myself floating around in maternal bliss. Maybe it was a sign that something wasn't right? Who knows, but it felt weird and I had a bit of a bleed after swimming that day so I didn't go again.
This day the pool started out with just a few retirees, my Mum and me. Then it started to fill up with Mums and babies and by the time we left I was on the brink of... something. I stood in my little shower booth listening to mums soothing their babies as they showered them and tried not to cry and failed. My Mum didn't notice though since my eyes are always a bit puffy after wearing goggles and I don't like her to worry about my mental state so I didn't tell her.
A bit later I went for a coffee with my friend. Guess what? Yes, a happy smiling Mum with a brand new baby.
I was thinking of writing off this week as the universe seems to want me full of tears.
On the other hand, my Mum really enjoyed her swim and it was good to chat with my friend.
And Ray and I have just been to an out of town shop and bought a new car stereo for even more booming bass (Ray swapped the heavy bass bin that took up all of our boot/trunk for a much smaller one that still rattles my spleen but doesn't threaten to turn it to mush). We got some potting soil and pots and I bought a blow torch. Ahhh good old retail therapy.
So maybe I will give this week one more chance.