I caught myself the other day, really thinking into the future for the first time, assuming there will be another baby.
I say it and write it all the time, when we get another chance, when George has a brother or sister, but it didn't feel quite real until the other morning when we were talking... well, I was talking about what we will need to get for a new baby and how things will be different. Ray gently reminded me that we have plenty of time for that.
But it felt good to hope, to dream and to plan with the pain of loss a little duller in the background. To allow myself to get a tiny little bit excited about the possibilities rather than worrying about the obstacles. To look forward instead of backward. The pain hasn't gone, duh, of course it hasn't. But for today, that stone feels a little more rounded.