At the moment I'm not entirely sure how I feel. I'm not unhappy and I'm not sad but I'm not quite happy either. Still in limbo then?
I meet each moment head on and I often pause during the day to ask myself how I feel. Some things bother me and other things that I think will bother me don't.
Yesterday I cried because lovely Martha wrote that she agreed that George does indeed look like Ray. I don't always do that. It was a nice-sad-warm feeling. Thank you for that gift Martha!
I don't know how I will feel on George's due date. I've never had to face my dead baby's due date before so I've nothing to measure this against. I'm expecting sadness, but then I tell myself that I shouldn't expect anything and I should just let in whatever feelings arrive at whatever point they arrive. I don't want to feel sad just because I think I should feel sad.
I'm not sure how to mark the day either. I'm not even sure that it needs to be marked.