Friday, 20 February 2009

A different sort of two week wait

Dr Compassion signed my sick note for two more weeks and is happy to carry on doing that. Two weeks, not a month? He wants to keep an eye on my emotional state. Yes, once again I got the sad-puppy-dog look and, "how are you?" and once again there were the tears. I don't know why it happens with him, when anyone else asks how I am I don't cry, they get the truth, but I don't cry. I think it's because I associate that chair in that room and that concerned face with my pregnancy and all the problems I had during it.

He worries that I'm not sleeping but no thank you, no more sleeping pills, he tentatively mentions antidepressants and seems relieved when I refuse. I tell him I'm going to see a counsellor on monday (yes, finally) and he seems pleased. I'm so glad my regular doctor wasn't available that one day and I was given an appointment with him by default.

We sent off a swab to make sure that the strep b is under control (I think it's gone I hope it's gone it must be gone) and he gave me the choice of taking the swab myself or letting him do it. Ummm... let me see... I went off to the toilet and swished that long cotton bud around feeling like a medical professional, well no not really but feeling glad someone else wasn't getting access to my ladyparts. He's never been there, I think it might change our relationship. I've got enough of that particular sharing experience coming up in two weeks time when I will be back at the hospital exposing said ladyparts to the world once again... well, no, maybe not the world but it surely feels like it sometimes.




5 comments:

  1. Wow. Didn't know that do-it-yourself swabbing was an option. I am finding myself perversely jealous of this!

    But, more to the point, I am so proud of you- both for recognizing your own strength in dealing with sleep issues and the grief monster, and for availing yourself of anything that might be helpful in getting through it. As a therapist myself, I have to say, some of us are actually quite lovely to talk to ;)

    Hugs.

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  2. Please take good care, thinking of you all.

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  3. Good on you, Barbara. Thinking of you & George

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  4. Barb, I'm sorry we had to meet like this. I appreciate your type of humour though. I'm so sorry for you and your little poppet. I love the letter writting you do for George. I just started this in a book for my little Logan earlier this week. I hate the empty feeling of not being able to "talk" to my son, and I am hoping this helps me. Keep breathing Barb!
    ~Heather

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