I found two pregnancy tests today while looking for something in my bedside drawer. Two of the five, yes five, that I used over 4 days to confirm George's life had begun. The lines have faded to nothing. That seemed such a big sad thing that I sat and stared at them for a while wondering and waiting for the tears. I didn't cry but I can't bring myself to throw them out. Silly little thing really, they are after all just sticks that I've peed on. One day I want to be able to throw them out. But not yet.