Well, today I tried getting with the christmas spirit and went shopping for a present for Ray. Crap.
Oh but it was awful. People seem to have even less regard for their fellow stressed shoppers at this time of year and what with looking out for people I didn't want to see (anyone I know) and trying to navigate the too-small shops too full of people, all of whom were in my way, and keeping public toilets within dashing distance I seem to have stressed myself right up to the eyeballs.
I arrived home with a big box of super plus tampons, two packs of pads-with-wings, ibuprofen and paracetamol, two baking trays, christmas cards for: my mum and dad; Ray's mum and step-dad; my brother and my fiance, (I actually had to choke back the tears when I was reading the slushy verse in Ray's card, sentimental hormones at play today I feel). I bought a huge tv remote control as a jokey-gift for my mum and dad, and finally, a very nice jumper for Ray. I wanted to get him a piece of jewellery but couldn't find the thing that I had in my head which probably doesn't exist... and as I dumped it all on the floor I burst into tears because I forgot the toilet paper.
And this evening, in the true spirit of masochism we're going to the supermarket... watch out for those hormones!
Today I'm breathing deeply.