Ray goes out to visit his friend, tells me he'll be gone a couple of hours and at the end of a couple of hours I start imagining the car wreck that he's got himself in. My Mum calls sounding a bit stressed and I imagine my Dad being rushed to hospital. The kittens... even the kittens dammit... are quiet in the morning instead of mewing outside our door and I imagine two tiny corpses lying on the kitchen floor.
This is not me.
It's not all pervasive but it annoys me that these awful thoughts occasionally skitter about my head leaving me with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I don't need this right now when I'm trying to find the relax-and-ye-will-conceive setting.
Oh yes, and just to add to the gloom of today, all the veg seeds I planted in the garden were dug up by a neighbourhood cat or chewed on by slugs.
On the plus side the rose we bought at the same time we bought the bulbs to plant in George's place is growing beautifully. It comes from a grower called David Austin where my grandfather used to help out, or perhaps volunteer in it's beginnings. If you like roses this is where to order from. They post overseas. I can't wait for it to bloom.
Tomorrow will be better. I will stop thinking these thoughts. I will sleep well. I will chill out. You will send conception vibes my way... well, can't blame me for trying that one.