Wednesday, 29 April 2009

The deal

Dear Hormones, ovaries, follicles, womb and evilfibroids (boo)

If you will just play nicely and straighten yourselves out for a few more months and allow me to conceive, carry and give birth to a living baby made with love who I can take home in a car seat and not in a tiny box I will give you full permission to wreak whatever havoc you will with my body afterwards.

Put me into premature menopause, give me 45 day cycles, hell give me 55 day cycles, give me a hairy chin and a humped back I don't give a shit! (well maybe I do give a shit about the last two)

But please, for the love of all things... all things motherly. Let me have one living child (twins would be nice too but I'm not sure there would be enough room for them and the evilfibroids so, you know, moderation and all that).

Lots of love and hugs and all that (and even more to you out there for letting me know that my paranoid death fantasies are perfectly normal)

(coming soon; Dear sperms {pun intended})


9 comments:

  1. I think that sounds like a perfectly reasonable deal. They should absolutely go along with it! xxx

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  2. After reading this, I am hanging out for the dear sperms post.....

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  3. Thanks for the smile this morning.

    xo

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  4. You Go, Girlfriend!!!
    Psst, I really don't want you to have a hump back or hairy chin if that's okay.

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  5. I think that's a very fair deal - and after all there's alway Veet for the chin.

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  6. That sounds like a great plan!

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