Sunday, 17 July 2011

1000 days

George is so very far away now.

1000 days.

It doesn't seem entirely possible. Our son has been gone for 1000 days.

I wake every day aware of the wrongness of our life. How, how did this happen? How can we be without him? How is it that we are still childless? How can this happen? I know there are no answers; not then or now or in the future but knowing that doesn't stop the questions forming in my head. How? Why?

Today we will travel 75 miles to see a classic car show. George would have ridden on his daddy's shoulders excited to see the special cars, wriggling to get down and get close. He couldn't help but share Ray's love of cars and he would be able to name them with his daddy. We would have a lovely but tiring day with tears and giggles and George would fall asleep on the way home and his daddy would carry him to his bed.

Think of us today will you? Just for a moment. Send us some wishes and a little magic if you can.

And send some love to George too? In that parallel universe where he lives his real life.


12 comments:

  1. I am sending lots of love and hugs your way. I am so sorry you have to go through this and I wish I could do something, anything, that brought you some peace.

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  2. Sending my love to you and George in that parallel universe where our babies are alive and in our arms.

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  3. Oh, this has made me cry so much, I so understand. So many things I have done since we lost our girl and I can't help but think about doing those things with her, in a parallel universe somewhere. Sending thoughts your way, across every universe.

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  4. Holding you, Ray, and George in my heart. I think of your George often, Barbara. I wish so much that you were going today to that car show with little George.

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  5. I think of you, Ray, George, and Little Poppet every day, Barbara- I truly do. Today especially, sending you love and remembering the little boy who should have been riding on Ray's shoulder's today. I wish there were better answers to all the questions. I wish you had never had to ask them.

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  6. 1000 days? God, how is that possible? As always, thinking of you and Ray, George and wee Little Poppet..xoxo

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  7. Thinking of you and what you would be should be doing, and hoping that there is joy and peace and fun in your day despite what isn't.

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  8. Miss you so much, beautiful baby George.
    xo

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  9. I'm thinking of George and missing him with you. I wish he were here, Barbara, I really do.

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  10. it never seems possible, that our lives keep marching forwards, what feels like moving away further and further from our babies. My time with my boy feels like another lifetime already.

    Thinking of your beautiful George, hoping he is loving his parrallel universe life (what a nice thing to think of, I really like that idea).

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