Toilet humour

I needed to do a pregnancy test and instead of peeing on the stick whilst sitting on the loo* I peed whilst lying next to Ray in the bed. "It'll be ok" I mumbled as I peed and peed and peed and woke with a start.

No... did I?

Phew, didn't pee in the bed. I've only done this once in my adult life and goodness, even though there was no one else there, it was embarrassing.

2.30am Thinking about peeing on sticks. 12dpo now, raging cramps yesterday, slight nausea, emotional mess, all the symptoms of my period starting in the next couple of days. Well, apart from emotional messness, that's pretty much constant.

2.50am Hmmm no cramps at all at the moment though.

3.15am I have one digital test. We did one when I was pregnant with George and it seemed silly to do another when it was shouting "Pregnant" at us (that and the four other non digital tests I did before I even mentioned that I thought I might be pregnant).

3.45 There is a digital test in the bathroom at the bottom of my ovulation stick/tampon/pad basket

4.05am Oh what the hell.

4.10am "not pregnant"

4.10.01am Bugger

4.15 Back to bed, sleep.

8.50 Wide awake, feed madly purring cattons*, make tea, back to bed, tell Ray about dream, fail to mention that I did a pregnancy test based on a bed-wetting dream whilst in the midst of pms induced insomnia.






*etymology
*catton - not yet a cat but no longer a kitten.