I sobbed and wailed and hung on to Ray as we stood near the spot where our son's body lies.I sobbed because we weren't on a father's day outing, because Ray has no son to hold, because Ray will be 38 next sunday and his father died at 38 and he has no father to wish a happy day to, because I haven't sobbed for quite a while, because it's all so bloody, monstrously unfair, because I want us to be parents, because I miss George.
The trees absorbed my noisy sobs. The ferns didn't care that I wiped my nose on my sleeve. Ray held me tight and told me he thought about George every day, I held Ray tight and told him I loved him, that I think his father would be proud of him, that we should get out of that place and go somewhere, anywhere...
I wish I'd taken tissues today.
I wish I had tissues reading this. I miss him too, Barb. Big hugs to Ray today.
ReplyDeleteMonstrously unfair is right. Wish Ray could have had a different kind of Fathers Day in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteYes, tissues definitely needed.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.
Thinking of you, Ray and George today..
I agree, monstrously unfair, and I wish I had some tissues too!
ReplyDeleteThinking of your wonderful husband, and his precious son. And you also Barb, always thinking of you.
Today was a sobbing day for me too. Sending much love and peace to Ray and you today and always.
ReplyDeleteAn impossible day, on so many levels. Sending you both much love and holding you, and baby George, in my heart. xo
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you both; sending you so much love.
ReplyDeleteSending love to you and Ray.
ReplyDeleteIt is horribly, horribly, monstrously unfair. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteLove to you, Ray and your sweet George. xx
Thinking of you both with much love. xo
ReplyDeleteI'd lend you mine, but mine are pretty soggy right now...
ReplyDeleteHugs xxx
I'll pass the tissues once I'm finished sobbing over this post.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys...
Sorry I haven't been around much. My heart is aching for you and Ray. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful couple of posts. My heart broke for all the baby-less dads. It's supposed to be so, so different.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Barb.
ReplyDeleteGeorge's place is incredibly beautiful x
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby, George. My heart goes out to you. I lost of my beautiful baby son 4 months ago, and I miss him so much.
ReplyDelete