Sunday, 21 June 2009

Father's day

I sobbed and wailed and hung on to Ray as we stood near the spot where our son's body lies.

I sobbed because we weren't on a father's day outing, because Ray has no son to hold, because Ray will be 38 next sunday and his father died at 38 and he has no father to wish a happy day to, because I haven't sobbed for quite a while, because it's all so bloody, monstrously unfair, because I want us to be parents, because I miss George.



The trees absorbed my noisy sobs. The ferns didn't care that I wiped my nose on my sleeve. Ray held me tight and told me he thought about George every day, I held Ray tight and told him I loved him, that I think his father would be proud of him, that we should get out of that place and go somewhere, anywhere...






I wish I'd taken tissues today.








16 comments:

  1. I wish I had tissues reading this. I miss him too, Barb. Big hugs to Ray today.

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  2. Monstrously unfair is right. Wish Ray could have had a different kind of Fathers Day in so many ways.

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  3. Yes, tissues definitely needed.

    I'm sorry.

    Thinking of you, Ray and George today..

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  4. I agree, monstrously unfair, and I wish I had some tissues too!

    Thinking of your wonderful husband, and his precious son. And you also Barb, always thinking of you.

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  5. Today was a sobbing day for me too. Sending much love and peace to Ray and you today and always.

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  6. An impossible day, on so many levels. Sending you both much love and holding you, and baby George, in my heart. xo

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  7. My heart breaks for you both; sending you so much love.

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  8. Sending love to you and Ray.

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  9. It is horribly, horribly, monstrously unfair. I am so sorry.

    Love to you, Ray and your sweet George. xx

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  10. Thinking of you both with much love. xo

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  11. I'd lend you mine, but mine are pretty soggy right now...

    Hugs xxx

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  12. I'll pass the tissues once I'm finished sobbing over this post.

    Thinking of you guys...

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  13. Sorry I haven't been around much. My heart is aching for you and Ray. I am so sorry.

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  14. What a beautiful couple of posts. My heart broke for all the baby-less dads. It's supposed to be so, so different.

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  15. I am so sorry Barb.

    George's place is incredibly beautiful x

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  16. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby, George. My heart goes out to you. I lost of my beautiful baby son 4 months ago, and I miss him so much.

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