Sunday, 3 May 2009

Occasionally...

It takes me a moment to catch up with my own head.

I'm not feeling so gloomy today. Thank you for your kind words of support and general gloom lifting vibes.

I think it was/is a combination of things not the least of which is the fact that I'm almost entirely 100% sure that I'm ovulating at the moment and I'm hopeful, scared, nervous, pessimistic and a whole host of hormonal feelings that seem to be circling around my head. ~~more conception vibes please!~~

Do you get crampy when you ovulate? Grumpy? Gloomy? Filled with portents of doom?

We conceived George in June last year and I'm not sure how I'd feel if we got pregnant next month. It would be terrifying to be at the same stage in the same month that we lost him. I'm not sure how I would cope. But on the other hand I wouldn't want to "waste" a cycle. Woo, there's another gloom inducing thought.

Time seems to be getting away from me these days. I want to be pregnant now. I want to turn the clock back. I want to be 10 years younger. I want George.


13 comments:

  1. I know you want George back, and I wish he could be with you. I'm so sorry. Sending you much love, many conception vibes, and peace.

    p.s. I'm always crampy when I ovulate.

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  2. yeah, I get crampy. Only noticed it post Hope though. I guess it was really the only time in my life I was paying attention.
    I want him back for you too, Barbara. I want that and so much more for you.

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  3. "I want to be pregnant now. I want to turn the clock back. I want to be 10 years younger."

    You said it, sister. I feel that way every month.

    I wish George were here with you and all the portents of doom would hush up and go away.

    Sending you hugs, love, and hope.

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  4. I completely understand about not being sure about being in the same stages at the same time. We've decided not to truly try this month as it would put me at 37 weeks just after Levi's birthday. I still have mixed feelings though (sigh)... I don't know what's best.

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  5. I get a bit crampy too. Always have, even pre Ciaran. But the difference now is that I can even feel cramps if I start wondering if I'm O'ing! And in the 2ww... cramps... just cos I'm wondering I'm sure! So it's a bugger now :-)
    Conception vibes out there for you and for me... maybe we're cycle buddies this month cos that's where I am too... xxx

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  6. I have sex dreams when I ovulate. Or at least get really horny.

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  7. Grumpy, crampy, moody, and blue sounds like my ovulation routine! I can even tell which side is ovulating, fun, fun.
    Glad things are a little better.

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  8. You are making me think of an Aqua song - Turn Back Time....

    I don't get anything at all when I ovulate....what a waste!!!


    Take Care...All the best!

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  9. Yes, when I ovulate I feel grumpy and emotional and get headaches and pains!

    I am sending you LOTS of conception vibes.

    I know that nothing can make up for loosing George or make the pain any less but I do hope that a new pregnancy would help with your healing.

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  10. I wish you had George, too. I wish I had Nicholas, Sophia, and Alexander... I wish so much for all of us.

    I wish things were different for us.

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  11. I wish you had George too. Much love.

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  12. I understand your thoughts on June. We conceived our babies in July and, at first, the thought of being on that same path again made me want to vomit. Seriously :) I've slowly realized it could be okay though. . . but who really knows??

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  13. I have almost been on the same time line as my first pregnancy and was a little scared too...it has been ok though. A little tough at first but as time moves, the excitement seems to carry more weight than the negative thoughts and comparisons....

    I think cramping and ovulation go hand in hand, and for me, serious horniness.
    Sending you lots of willful conception and lots of love to you and George.

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