I don't want to be a member of the dead baby club any longer.
The membership fee is too high and the benefits are scant. Member participation involves too much pain and it makes me cry for other lost baby Mums. We are too too too many and it's all just so wrong. So very very wrong. My heart breaks a little bit more for each and every one of us each and every time I sit down to read or type.
Being a member marks you for pity. People who know look at you differently. They say stupid things. Or they say nothing at all. Why do they ignore my son's existence? Please.
And it makes me cry for my George who isn't growing inside my belly where he should be.
But it's a lifetime subscription with no get out clause so I'm stuck here.
Today I'm fed up. (understatement)
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We won't ignore George. Here, he is loved and missed terribly. As for the rest of them, fuck em. I am fed up too with silence, stupidity and for me the worst is `we are all just trying to have a good time, Monique, so maybe don`t talk about what happened.`. Really. This is why I rarely go out anymore.
ReplyDeleteThanks Monique. That means a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe only benefit to being a member of this club is "meeting" other Mums who know just how I feel and reading their blogs and thinking "YES. ME TOO."
Thank you.
xxx
Hi. I just found your blog through Lost and Found, and wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your son. George is such a sweet name.
ReplyDeleteAnd being members of this club makes us so emotive we write in bold and italics! It is not freakin' fair. I'm not sure how much further I can illustrate my point of the unfairness of it all.
ReplyDeleteOh Barbara, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your George. What a sweet boy.
ReplyDeleteI'm also sympathetic to your frustration with your new life -- I get that way sometimes, and I'm 20, er, 21? months into this saga. I've found so much love and understanding online though -- I hope you do too.
Thinking of you all today.