Before us in the supermarket queue were an older couple stocking up on booze for Christmas. They spent over £100 on wine and spirits. Our chatty cheery checkout lady then chatted to us about writing her christmas cards with half a bottle of red wine while her baby was asleep upstairs. Had we done all our christmas shopping? Last year she gave birth prematurely the day before christmas and so they didn't get to celebrate it properly.
It's good job we still have a bit of empathy hanging around and a modicum of self control because we could have easily ruined her cheery mood.
No we don't drink because Ray's father was an alcoholic and Ray hasn't had a drink for many years and he doesn't really see the lighter side of it.* No we didn't celebrate Christmas last year either but that was because our baby died and to be honest we're not that bothered about celebrating it this year because our baby isn't here...
And yes of course, it did run through my mind that I don't know her story. She might have been a member of the "club" once or many times and of course I know of the worry and the long road through prematurity through my friends in this place. But still. You know.
On the way home a couple were trying to cross quite a dangerously busy road on a bend only a few metres away from the safe crossing with traffic lights by pushing their baby in it's pram ahead of them into the road and I almost opened the window and screamed at them for their stupidity. Don't you know how lucky you are!?
I think perhaps I shouldn't go out. It's not doing my stress-free attempt at calm baby-making zen-ness any good at all.
And has my mum started with the I'm-not-going-to-ask-you-what-you're-doing-for-christmas-lunch guilt trip yet? Of course not, the very idea, as if. I haven't told her yet that we are inviting ourselves over...
*I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all..."
I do like a glass of ba'il.eys, or oooooh a bai.l'ey.s latte... or maybe a nice single malt whiskey, but very rarely. Alcohol was one thing I didn't need to give up when I was pregnant.