I'm trying hard not to think of this cycle as a failure. It just didn't work.
I'm trying not to think of how much I wanted to be pregnant at a similar time to last year.
I don't know why I wanted this, every sensible bone in my body (little toe?) was screaming that it would be a bad baaad idea to be at a similar (one week behind) gestation on 20th October, one year from losing George. But still I wanted it.
I didn't think I would be recreating George's pregnancy, of course not, that would be impossible. But still I wanted it.
I'm deeply disappointed today. Why did anyone ever use that word to describe my loss of my son to me?
Tomorrow will be better.