Goodness, has it been that long?.
It's been difficult not to tell you. I wanted you to know; you are my support system. If you're still out there?
Today I am 14w 4d pregnant.
I'm scared, elated, stunned, and every emotion you might think of. All at once.
And until last Tuesday we were very scared of test results. I had a cvs test the Friday before after swearing that I would never ever ever do it again ever. But they gave us scary odds, even after a wonderful 12 week ultrasound where baby was wriggling and jumping and waving and chewing and kicking and had a "normal" nuchal measurement. My phone rang that Tuesday afternoon while I was sitting in the car waiting for Ray to pay for petrol and the results say no this, that and the other. He came back to see me smiling and crying. And then we went and told my Mum about the baby and she smiled and cried too. I take after her, you know.
I'm breathing again now. Waiting for my appetite to come back and trying just being pregnant again after switching off and going into limbo for four days.
We had ultrasounds at 8 and 10 weeks too and while Ray and I squeezed each others hand in trepidation, all was well. Baby seems so much more active than George was but maybe that's just wishful hoping. I would almost swear I can already feel it. Or it might be gas, most likely gas, I have a lot of that too.
I wasn't going to say anything to anyone until at least 21 weeks lest I jinx the whole affair but we don't believe in that sort of rot now do we? Besides we simply can't keep it in any longer!
We are very very cautiously optimistic at this point but we have such a long way to go so your good thoughts would be much appreciated.
If you would like to, you can see the ultrasound pics from 12 weeks here.
Oh yes, and we're not "out" on FB yet.