Monday, 28 September 2009

The waterworks.

Today I had my "medical" with a Government agency Doctor. Middle aged man, just to set the scene.

So after examining my stinky, arthritic feet and asking me to bend my knees he said, "Tell me about your depression after the miscarriage". Cue tears, tears and more tears, even the odd sob. You'd think I'd be all out of tears by now, surely I've cried a small lake this last year, there can't be any more? "Oh you can have another you know, my daughter had two miscarriages and infertility treatments and after IVF she has twins". I couldn't think of anything to say. Bleaugh.

Anyway, we came home and started watching a tv show. Episode three and one of the characters is pregnant (why is there always a pregnant woman in absolutely everything we watch these days?) suddenly she's doubled up on the floor cramping. Then she's in the brightly lit (!) ultrasound room, and she's on her cellphone (!!) with a friend "they can't find the heartbeat..." "they will, they will" and of course, they do. And I just burst into yet more tears. This isn't how we found out that George was gone but we had a couple of ultrasounds where we held our breath, and then that sound, that wonderful sound.

Yesterday I almost posted about how down I was feeling. Today I have the puffy eyes to prove it.


27 comments:

  1. What an idiot.

    I would have punched him in the face.

    I am sorry Barb.

    I love you x

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  2. Actually I probably would not have punched him .... But I would have given him my BIG EVIL STARE! You know the one that just lasts forever, continues on into the next subject and until you have well and truly left the room... yeah that one!

    Boooooooooooo to him!

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  3. Bleaugh is an appropriate response. I'm so sorry you had such an insensitive doctor. xo

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  4. I'm so sorry. For the puffy eyes. For everything.

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  5. I just had a vision of us all lining up in the waiting room for that doctor. Every time he would come out to call our name one of us would just through a pie at him.

    That would be fun.

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  6. Carly you lovely girl, thank you for making me smile! It's been an emotional day and I needed that!

    That would be fun indeed! In fact there are a few people (my ex-boss and replacement for 2) that I would SO like to do that to!

    I'm sure we all have a few!

    xxx

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  7. I'm sorry the doc was so insensitve. I really would like to carry around a dirty, stinky sock to cram in the mouths of such people when they need help shutting their trap. Ugh.

    It does seem every show, movie, commercial has a pregnant woman - WTF?

    Sending tons of hugs and love

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  8. So sorry Barb~as a nurse I am always so astounded when one of my contemporaries is such a tool. Sending you hugs...

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  9. I cant even believe he said that. I mean, really. Ugh.

    Sending hugs.

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  10. I really like the pie in the face idea. I would be there. Loser!

    So sorry you've had a crappy day.

    xo

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  11. Boooooo and hisssss to the stupid middle-aged govt agency nimrod, sorry excuse for a doctor!!!!!!

    Can I throw a pie too, please, please, please?!?!? I also like Amy's idea of a stinky sock in the mouth. Count me in on either of those ideas.

    Oh how I wish with all my heart and soul I could ease your pain. I love you so.
    xxxxx

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  12. Oh Barbara, such a jerk. I'm sorry. Sending love to you. xo

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  13. Sorry, Barbara. Moron Doctor should be horsewhipped, just sayin'.

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  14. So sorry Barbara, that the doctor's visit was so crappy. I don't know why anyone tries to console with "you can have another," much less a doctor. Why do they think they know this? After, the evidence that these things sometimes don't work out is crying in their presence! I am so very sorry. Sending hugs, big hugs. Peace.

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  15. It amazes me what docs are capable of spewing from their lips. I had a visit from hell a couple weeks back that leveled me. I am still recovering. I am so sorry for his insensitive words.

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  16. Oh Barb, big hugs. Lining up to throw a pie with you all. And damn those stoopid TV shows. Happens every time, doesn't it? Even the shows that seem least likely. I keep the TV off most days now!
    xoxo

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  17. oh, you would think that doctors would be able to show some compassion hey? or how to approach some subjects with a bit of sensitivity.

    I am sorry Barb

    xx

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  18. Damn. My "favorite" of those stories ended with the person in question, after telling me about her goddaughter's having a healthy baby after loss, saying, "And she wasn't that young, either- she was 32!" Wish I'd had one of Carly's pies handy to throw. That doctor is now officially on my list. And, unlike Carly, I might very well punch him in the face.

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  19. we feel like every single show we like has someone pregnant- it's so annoying. we find ourselves looking at each other in disbelief, all the time.

    the absolute nerve of someone to say that to you- to any of us. i've heard it too. its just obnoxious and uncaring.

    with all the wonderful people out there who do say the right stuff, it's amazing how we focus on that one that tears us up. its hard not to though. aww, i'm sending you love. you don't deserve to hear that ever.

    i want to tell you that your jewelry is just so special & gorgeous.

    xo

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  20. Ugh.
    Some people are just so difficult to deal with. Naive. Stupid even.
    Can't wait till we go to that IVF shop and drop off our heartache to pick up our new take home baby. I wish someone had told me it was so easy ages ago...

    xxx

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  21. I do not meet those weird government officials, but I shed tears for Akul every day.

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  22. Seriously - why are the medical field allowed to say such things. There should be an, "If I'm too much of an idior or overstep my bounds during our visit today - put a note in this box" box in the lobby!

    So sorry you are being attacked from all sides.

    much love to you...in this upcoming month.

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  23. I'm so sorry for the rough time lately. That doctor needs a lesson. I can't believe he said that to you. I've come to dislike many doctors myself. And I must agree, I still have a very hard time seeing anything about pregnancy on TV. It's no longer subject matter for entertainment.
    Thinking of you!!!
    xoxo,
    Marian

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  24. Boo to that doctor! I am wondering if he said that kind of crap to his daughter...?

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  25. I threw a pie at him for you. Stupid, stupid doctor. It's not too much after such a profound loss to expect some common sense and a little sensitivity from your doctor. Unfortunately, mine is not much better. She keeps telling me she knows I can have another baby and is so confident about it that she doesn't seem very willing to do any sort of pre-conception testing. GRRR!!

    And, yes, every single television show these days contains a pregnant woman. I miss Dexter, but I can't watch this season after watching the last during my first trimester. Last season also contained a miscarriage scare, but of course, tragedy was averted so I'm sure this season will end with the birth of a healthy babe (albeit the offspring of a serial killer).

    I'm sending lots of love your way my friend. xoxo

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  26. Oh dear. Don't you just hate it when people say that kind of crap.

    Sending my love.
    xxx

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