tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post4535022192399644830..comments2023-09-28T13:56:17.927+01:00Comments on burble: Another ticket for the roller coaster?Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484695553612265127noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-40277270690458034122009-03-23T15:40:00.000+00:002009-03-23T15:40:00.000+00:00Why is it that we can KNOW one thing in our logica...Why is it that we can KNOW one thing in our logical minds and feel something so contradictory in our emotional hearts? I try to beat these toughts back with a baseball bat several times a day. And sex is different now too. And that sucks. And I want to hit that with a bat too! Wanna borrow my bat Barb?Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04602706939281669017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-63819884158041924812009-03-23T02:56:00.000+00:002009-03-23T02:56:00.000+00:00Barb, I am sorry that you have had such a sad day....Barb, I am sorry that you have had such a sad day. Its hard not to think about blaming ourselves but we know that it was all out of our hands, beyond our control etc. <BR/><BR/>I forget that mothering sunday is a different day in the UK. Sorry love. I can see from your next post that you had a lovely day with your gorgeous mum and dad.<BR/><BR/>THinking of you. xxxRachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08573991998853561283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-12352693861097611272009-03-22T16:47:00.000+00:002009-03-22T16:47:00.000+00:00Thinking you today. The people we are today are di...Thinking you today. The people we are today are different than who we were before and who we will become, but deep down you are th precious soul you have always been, a lovely woman, partner, daughter and mother.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-58983398364383220072009-03-22T15:43:00.000+00:002009-03-22T15:43:00.000+00:00Sorry, Barbara, sending you love and peace. To Ray...Sorry, Barbara, sending you love and peace. To Ray and George also and always.Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essentialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07129428477996644401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-81836854777709364062009-03-22T15:00:00.000+00:002009-03-22T15:00:00.000+00:00I still think from time to time I let everyone dow...I still think from time to time I let everyone down. They were so looking forward to meeting their son/grandson/nephew and I blew it. <BR/><BR/>I didn't know it was Mother's Day over there so I'll be holding you and George in my heart today. Lots of love to you, Barbara.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-63126504096492891172009-03-22T14:56:00.000+00:002009-03-22T14:56:00.000+00:00I'm getting here late, but wanted to let you know ...I'm getting here late, but wanted to let you know how much I'm thinking of you today. <BR/><BR/>I'm so proud of how far you've come - thank you for sharing your journey with us. And I'm so proud of you for realizing that the New You is kind of slipping, and for taking action to keep it here. There is nothing greater than loving yourself and having others love you too. I hope you're reassured in the later :) Not to just work on the former! <BR/><BR/>I should probably do this too, if we're being honest. So, thank you for your honesty, and for inspiring so many of us.Bluebirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05026618678540051581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-77453014977506694502009-03-22T14:24:00.000+00:002009-03-22T14:24:00.000+00:00I have struggled with those feelings of failure ev...I have struggled with those feelings of failure ever since we lost Ezra. Rationally I understand there is nothing I could have done differently; but emotionally I constantly question 'what if'. Shouldn't I have known? Shouldn't I have been able to do something? Sometimes I'm able to suppress these doubts but they seem to continue to bubble up. The feelings of failure spill over into all areas of my life...burnt toast-see I f up everything! Broken appliance-yup everything I touch dies. I know how irrational this sounds and yet these nagging thoughts remain. Of course this carries over into ttc too. Getting pregnant requires such a leap of faith, and after losing our sons, all the more so. Yet as much as I can ask 'what if we lose another child'...an equally good question is 'what if we bring home a living child' hugs to you Barbara, if we have to ride the rollercoaster, I am honored to ride it with you. Xoxoezra'smommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17342399045659116165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-28603152584776592492009-03-22T13:58:00.000+00:002009-03-22T13:58:00.000+00:00You and I sound a lot alike. Especially with the ...You and I sound a lot alike. <BR/><BR/>Especially with the beating up part. <BR/><BR/>Sending you hugs today...Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17681333723382119281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-45127529799910042652009-03-22T07:30:00.000+00:002009-03-22T07:30:00.000+00:00I love you Barb :)I love you Barb :)Carly Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14586501928364642712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-83273332752807064142009-03-22T06:25:00.000+00:002009-03-22T06:25:00.000+00:00I've had so many of the same sorts Barb. But you a...I've had so many of the same sorts Barb. But you are not a failure. And yes, you are very much loved. I didn't know the old Barbara, but I know I would have loved her just the same.<BR/>Ridin' the rollercoaster with you!Hope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-36389275145150924502009-03-22T06:05:00.000+00:002009-03-22T06:05:00.000+00:00"I like me. And the me that I like is loved. Genui..."I like me. And the me that I like is loved. Genuinely, positively, unconditionally loved. By Ray and by me."<BR/><BR/>You are liked and loved by so many people!! Count me in that group.<BR/><BR/>Your writing is so beautiful. Thank you for your courage in sharing how you feel. Thinking of you on Mother's Day.Snarky Bellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17893940815826970998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-74073569368397765652009-03-22T04:33:00.000+00:002009-03-22T04:33:00.000+00:00Great post."You might want to call me a late bloom...Great post.<BR/><BR/>"You might want to call me a late bloomer!"<BR/><BR/>I have often labelled myself that.<BR/><BR/>I fucking had braces, that reduced my attractiveness to minus levels when my friends had discovered their plus points. <BR/><BR/>I was overweight as a kid, and I was laughed at - partially because I clowned around.<BR/><BR/>I have totally ruined relationships because I would grow so nervous with intimacy, that I would say the wrong things or do the wrong things...And that would kaput anything.<BR/><BR/>I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and went on the wrong roads.<BR/><BR/>I have acted in ways that totally ruined the trust that my parents had on me.<BR/><BR/>But yes, even my DH has not made me a better person. But he has stabilized me. <BR/><BR/>I still struggle with myself a lot.<BR/><BR/>Please do not call yourself a failure. You are not a failure. And that whatever happened to George was not because you and Ray loved him any less. Please do not be so very hard on yourself. <BR/><BR/>Take Care!..alhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679149270839974470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-47542103680069825392009-03-22T04:30:00.000+00:002009-03-22T04:30:00.000+00:00It's crap. You might have inspired a post.. I fee...It's crap. You might have inspired a post.. I feel one coming up on my blog.. I don't want to hijack yours, but so much you've said... sex is different now... feeling like a failure of a mum... the lifelong feelings of inadequacy...<BR/>I feel your pain from the bottom of my heart.<BR/><BR/>xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-32624562004386009152009-03-22T03:20:00.000+00:002009-03-22T03:20:00.000+00:00You write so beautifully. I will be thinking of yo...You write so beautifully. I will be thinking of you on Mother's Day and wishing and hoping for you. xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7456461102167226695.post-86513166257872261542009-03-22T01:38:00.000+00:002009-03-22T01:38:00.000+00:00Oh, Barbara. I think we all feel this sometimes. ...Oh, Barbara. I think we all feel this sometimes. I know I do. I spent the first month after we lost Kai apologizing to everyone I could think of- Alan, my mother, my grandmother, and especially Kai. On my bad days, I still do. The universe- or whatever we call the thing that brought us to this place- failed US. But I bet you won't find a single one of us here who doesn't feel like she failed.<BR/><BR/>Old Barbara, New Barbara, or All- New New Barbara- your mother is lucky to have you as her daughter. George is lucky to have you as his mummy, as will his someday sibling be. Ray is lucky to have you as his partner. And I- and so many of us- are so lucky to have you as a friend. Crying, biscuits, evilfibroids, and all.<BR/><BR/>Mother's Day here isn't until May- so tomorrow, I will honor my friend George's Mama.<BR/><BR/>Love you!Dani819https://www.blogger.com/profile/00620957484893505246noreply@blogger.com